Getting Through The Toughest Day

I usually post in the morning, but today I just didn't have the chance to post when I first got up. I find that if I do miss a day of posting, it's hard to recollect my thoughts, so I just need to continue where I'm at. I've never been very good about daily logging ANYTHING but I do find that if I simply accept that & continue on, everything falls into place. If I put too much pressure on myself regarding posting, I will eventually neglect posting at all.

I'm backtracking a bit here, but there just isn't much to say about day 2, so it won't be lengthy. Late that day the detox symptoms started to kick in and I began to experience headaches and sensitivity to loud noises. The day was so busy other than that I didn't much notice what as going on. I can say that I drank a lot of water, and yes, I did crave my husband's meat lovers pizza, but other than that there wasn't much worth noting. This morning I woke up with a killer headache and I immediately knew that the detoxification process had begun. Today was admittedly the hardest day I've had so far. From prior fasting experience, I know that day 3 can tend to be one of the toughest.As if that wasn't enough, I had a heightened awareness of every food smell. Even the talk of food made me long to taste it. I made breakfast for my husband this morning and the wonderful aroma of fried onions and meat just filled my nostrils with such a burning desire to eat it. Then came pop tarts for my son, a once in a while treat. Who knew that toasted pop tarts could smell so absolutely decadent. What a sweet scent. It tantalized my senses. Each time I was faced with these temptations I was fully aware of why they were hitting me so hard. This was, after all, day 3. As if getting through this wasn't enough, I went for a visit to my mom's house, where she made one of my favorites for dinner...ziti in sauce. Oh it was just heaven to look at it! I really had to fight that one hard. All night long I watched tv with her (good ole Lifetime, her favorite channel!!) and was plagued by visions of the most eye appealing foods. It's such a great ploy of the enemy to parade these luscious foods before our eyes as we lazily sit in front of the tv. I can't count how many times in the past that those commercials effectively caused me to go to the cabinet or refrigerator & search for something that would satisfy a craving I never knew I had until I witnessed the foods on tv. The whole night was filled with temptations left & right. I even found myself sniffing the sweet smell of animal cookies in my son's paper cup!! At one point I was so overwhelmed by the whole food thing, I just went into the kitchen and stared at those ziti, still left in the pot. I started to convince myself that I could just go ahead & eat them, it wouldn't hurt anything, I could start again tomorrow. What a lie directly from the enemy! Tomorrow would not come! I knew that in my heart. If I went ahead and ate those ziti's, I would have set myself up for a major fall. I would have continued to eat everything in sight until I ate everything I wanted to. Later I would have beat myself up so bad it would have taken a lot to get me back on track. Most likely I would've wallowed in self pity for a few days before even attempting to pull myself out of the pit again. So I reminded myself of my 2 day victory, and I put my focus on the prize at the end. I pushed on, and was able to regain my mental state. My husband finally came home from work & we decided to take a ride together. He got a cup of coffee & my favorite, a banana muffin, and I got a nice hot cup of lemon water. Boy did I want that banana muffin. But I looked at myself again & reminded myself of how much I wanted to be free from this demon. The greatest challenge of the whole night was when my husband decided to stop at the taco bell on our way home & get himself 6...yes, you read right...6 soft tacos!!! Oh the smell completely filled my car! How desperately I wanted to bite into that meat filled pocket! Oh it was complete torture! But I just had to fight through it. After all, food is all around me. I have to learn how to deal with it. I got through that one by envisioning raw food delicacies, and retraining my mind to switch my focus from the food to my health. I thought of the temporary pleasure those tacos would give me and the lasting pleasure the raw foods would give me. I found that I no longer wanted them. What I wanted was to look good...to FEEL good. I could never achieve that if I kept on the road I was traveling.
At the end of this, day 3, I am tired. I fought hard today, but the victory was sweet. Though my senses were heightened, so was my awareness. This time when I looked in the mirror, I saw a belly that was shrinking. Not a whole lot, but shrinking enough to notice. I remembered how wonderful it felt to wear jeans with a belt. I began to look forward to that time...a time of freedom. And now, as I close this writing, I realize that I have conquered a mighty foe today. I'm off to rest for another day on the front lines!

Good night & God bless!!