The Light At The End Of The Tunnel

There's a saying, "Hard work pays off". When you see the fruits of your labor, you know that this is true. Sometimes, however, the tunnel is so deep that you don't think you can keep boring through to the other side. When the darkness seems greatest, that's when you must fight the hardest. It's always darkest before the dawn. You must never forget that there IS a light at the end of that tunnel. No matter how deep it goes, it leads to somewhere, and if you give up, you'll never reach the other side and perhaps you will miss the greatest blessing God has ever desired to give you. Psalm 128: 1-2 says, " Blessed are all who fear the LORD, who walk in obedience to him. You will eat the fruit of your labor; blessings and prosperity will be yours."

About 12 years ago I went through one of the darkest periods of my life. My husband of almost 1o years had left me for another woman. It was a complete shock to me, as I didn't even know we were having any problems. He gave me a wonderful surprise party for my 30th birthday and left me 2 months later for a woman he'd been seeing for 9 months. I cannot put into words what that did to me. I was filled with so many emotions, it was hard to get a hold of them. I was thrown into a tunnel that seemed too big for me to get through, and the world around me seemed to be caving in from all sides. I spent a lot of time crying those first few days. I was just so shocked. I knew, however, that this was something the Lord had allowed and I knew He was the only one who could get me through it. He placed within me a determination that gave me strength from deep within. My husband left me to raise 2 daughters, aged 7 & 5 and I knew I could not give up.
The problem I faced was getting through the emotional grief. The devil was speaking many defeating words to me and I knew that the only way to fight through those lies was with the word of God. During that time of my life, I relied on God completely. I adopted Isaiah 54:5 as my mantra. "For your Maker is your husband; the Lord of armies is his name: and the Holy One of Israel is he who takes up your cause; he will be named the God of all the earth." I reminded myself of it often, and even placed a ring on my finger to remind me of our "marriage" and my commitment to Him.
To keep strong, I knew I had to rely completely on Him. I knew I had to trust Him through it all. I knew I had no strength of my own, and that I must stay firmly rooted in His word and communicate daily with Him in prayer. My hope was in Him and I knew that I could not take my eyes off of Him or I would surely fall. I was so afraid of falling and I felt such comfort hiding in the shadow of His wings.
One of the things that I knew about myself is that music had a deep profound affect on me. I knew that music would minister to my spirit, so I sought to get something that would "speak" to me & soothe my inner man. I went off to a Christian bookstore & went to the music section. I didn't have a lot of money, as I was now surviving without the help of my husband, so I went to a clearance bin where all of the cassettes were marked down to $5.00 and under. I didn't know what I was looking for, as I was unfamiliar with most of the artists in that bin, so I grabbed a couple of cassettes based on what the covers said & what the names of the songs were. One of the cassettes I grabbed was by Allison Durham and it was called "Walk into Freedom". It sounded promising, so I put the cassette into my walkman & set out for a walk. I went out very early in the morning when the distractions of life around me were the least. Each day I walked with that cassette and each day it ministered to my spirit in such a deep & vital way. Those songs somehow changed me from within. They spoke such comfort and such truth, and they spoke to the core of my very being. I was being transformed by the renewing of my mind. Music can truly change your life. I listened to that cassette so much, that to this day, almost 13 years later, I still hear the words when I am feeling like I am going to drown. One of my favorite songs from that cassette was "When you walk through the water", it goes like this:
Lord, I want to be led by Your Spirit
Sometimes I feel so afraid
There are times when this river
Seems to flow against me
And it makes it hard to not be swept away
Even when I feel I'm strong
You know I'm weak and frail
Then You gently remind me
That Your faithfulness to me will never fail
You say...

When you walk through the water
I will be with you
And the river will not overflow you
Though you walk through deep water
I will be with you
Through the flame or flood you won't be burned or drowned
I am the God who lifts you up
And I'll never let you down

Oh Lord, You are a shield for me
You're the glory and the lifter of my head
When I'm facing fear or doubt
From within or from without
I'm reminded of the hand by which I am led
You said...

When you walk through the water
I will be with you
And the river will not overflow you
Though you walk through deep water
I will be with you
Through the flame or flood you won't be burned or drowned
I am the God who lifts you up
And I'll never let you down
(Words & music by David Baroni & Allison Durham Spears)

That song helped lead me through the deepest darkest tunnel I'd ever been through. And as I was boring through that tunnel and found myself close to giving up, I would hear that chorus and I would push on.

I came through that season of my life a much stronger person. I learned so much through that struggle, and I grew that much more. I remember how the devil tried to destroy me, and how many times I gave in to the temptations that were presented to me. When my husband left me, a whole different door was opened and I was forced to deal with issues that marriage allowed me to hide from. I remember times that I felt like someone else was pulling my strings, and after giving in to temptations I brought about consequences that were very hard to bear. I was confronted with sins of my past and had to face head on some sins I thought I had put away. Those sins could have destroyed me, as they were sexual sins. God warns us about sins against the body. 1 Corinthians 6:18 says, " Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body." It's hard to believe that I ever got through that season. God brought me through that tunnel, and He freed me from the slavery of sins I was bound to. He made a way of escape when it seemed there was none. He opened the rivers so I could pass through. Surely it did not feel like there would ever be light at the end of that tunnel, yet now I can truly see it, as I walk in that light. It's the same for this struggle with food addiction. The Lord is with me, walking me through it every step of the way & He has assured me that I will walk into freedom.

Today I saw the first signs of light at the end of this tunnel.

When I had my rash breakout (see my last post) I was led to things that would help relieve the rash. One of the things I was led to was cleansing my body from within. Colon cleanse, liver cleanse & kidney cleanse were all things that were presented to me. One of the big things I had to do, in addition to these cleanses, was to consume foods & juices that would help cleanse my body and release the toxins within me. I was willing to do whatever I had to do just to relieve the itch, as it was so difficult to bear.
I started with water & juice cleansing as I took an herbal colon cleanse formula. After about a week of that I began to follow a plan designed by Daniel C. Docto, of Health Ministry in Jesus. In order to adequately cleanse, it's good to bring in as many high fiber fruits, vegetables & juices as possible. I started to follow his food plan, but I found that it was just too much food, and I could not consume it all. I did as much as I could, however, and after only 3 days I am seeing the benefits already! My itch has reduced considerably and today I noticed my stomach has begun to shrink! Today, I saw the light at the end of my tunnel!! The devil tried to use that itch to wear me down & bring about defeat, but God used it as a direct passage toward the light at the end of my tunnel. Usually when things like that hit me I go right to my source of comfort...food! This time, however, I put into practice what the Lord has been showing me (see previous post) and in doing that I achieved a major victory!
Oh dear friend, when you tire or grow weary, don't give up! Galatians 6:9 says, "Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary." I am here to tell you that this is so true!


Remember, there IS a light at the end of EVERY tunnel. Some tunnels are longer than others, as sometimes we have further to go on our journey & much more to learn. Rest assured, however, that "When you walk through the water, He will be with you and the river will NOT overflow you. Though you walk through deep water, He will be with you. Through the flame or flood you won't be burned or drowned. He is the God who lifts you up & He'll NEVER let you down!"

May God strengthen you as you get closer to the light!