Gain Control By Submitting

I'll tell you straight up, I've always been the type of person who likes to take control of things that I'm passionate about. Most times, if I'm right, I can win some battles simply by exercising my knowledge. There are others, however, that I cannot seem to win no matter how hard I try. The word to note in that sentence is seem. What I've learned is that though it may seem I cannot win them, it's simply a matter of changing my approach.
Sometimes you really do have to take the bull by the horns & really do what you know. Other times, however, you have to wait upon the Lord~be still and know that He is God~before you can ever get anywhere with your fight.
As I've been enjoying the freedoms that have been bestowed upon me while exercising obedience, I've also been getting attacked on other fronts. The enemy does not want to see me win, that's for sure! He sees me overcome a struggle & he's right at the door waiting to pounce on the next thing I struggle with. The great thing about this, however, is that though he intends it for evil, God will use it for good. And the beauty of it is that after going through it, the Lord is glorified and I grow deeper as a Christian. Every rose has it's thorn and the thorns that are attached to us "roses" are the things that keep us completely dependent on God. They keep us humble . 2 Corinthians 12:7 remind us of the thorn Paul had. "And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure".
The messenger of Satan was sent to strike Paul, to attack him, if you will. Evil men, unbelievers, and the like are all messengers of Satan, and he will use them to persecute and attack us. I even believe he can use "religious" people, because though a man may be religious that does not mean he has a relationship with God. Likewise, there are the misguided people. In their ignorance they do not see, and therefore are able to be used by the devil. Perfect example is those who put Jesus on the cross. Jesus said to God, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do." (Luke 23:34)

It is important to note what areas you are weak in , because that is from where your attack will come. Matthew 10:16 tells us we are "Sheep in the midst of wolves." I find that interesting, because wolves, like most other animals stalking prey, will often search out the weak and the sick. The wolf waits & watches, a part of his stalking behavior, and will pounce at the perfect opportunity. It is always the weakest that are the easiest to catch. If we are not in tune to our weak areas, submitting them to the Lord, we can be assured that we will never gain any control over them. The wolf will overtake us every time. Jesus is our Shepherd. In John 10:11 Jesus says, "I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep." He does not run when the wolf comes. He laid His life down for us, why, then, would we not submit to Him? Last night I learned a great lesson about submission. Here is the account:

My most recent of attacks has been on the home front. My husband was recently promoted and as part of his promotion he has now acquired more hours. He leaves the house at 9am or earlier & gets home at 11pm or later. He comes to church with us Sunday morning & leaves right from church to go to work. He has one day a week off from work and has to juggle that day with errands, and spending time with me & my son. As I'm sure you can see, my time with my husband has been minimal. A weaker relationship would not survive.
It has been said that it's not quantity of time, but quality of time. I tend to believe that to be true for the most part. My husband & I have to make a conscience effort to make the time we spend together meaningful. When we do, it is better than some of the days we were together consistently. When we don't, however, I am miserable because I know that it may be many days before I get the opportunity to spend time with my husband again. Unfortunately I can tend to be possessive of the time we spend together, because it is so precious and there is just so little of it. With people all around me dying so young, and my husband having health problems of his own, I tend to want to spend every moment I can with him, for I know that our days are numbered. Because I allow myself to become miserable if my husband does not make time for me, or if he seems to be spending his free time (what little of it there is) focused on other things, I leave a door open for the devil to attack. There are many doors to a mans soul, and we have to be careful not to leave them open. One of the doors I leave open a lot is the fact that I suffer from insecurity. My husband is surrounded by young women at his job, and some of them are in the partying stages of youth. He also works with several young males who find their enjoyment in bars & clubs. These are the people my husband spends most of his time with. When he & I are in sync, it doesn't bother me as much. When we are both preoccupied with things outside our relationship, it bothers me a lot.
In addition to this, there is a woman from my husband's past who is trying to reconnect with him. I honestly feel no threat from her, in fact I have a lot of compassion for her as she is a cancer survivor. I pray for her and have a brotherly love for her. However...as nice as she may be, it is not healthy for her or us that she pursues a relationship of any kind with my husband. I was informed by my husband's sister that this woman held a torch for my husband and had a hard time letting him go. I was also made aware that she still has feelings for him now. In light of that, I cannot see any good coming from a relationship, and jealousy has absolutely nothing to do with it. The devil can use things like that & we have to be very careful. I am very much in tune to the fact that the people I mentioned can possibly be the "messengers of Satan" that he has sent to "buffet" me. Though they, themselves, don't even know it. I'm not saying anything bad about any of them as people, so please don't misunderstand that. Some of them I don't even know personally. This is not an attack on them. When I say they are messengers of Satan, I acknowledge only that Satan can use them against me & if he can, he will.

Because I have never had much luck with trusting men (molested by males in the family, my father left my mother for her girlfriend, my first husband cheated repeatedly, my sisters husband cheated repeatedly, most of my family members have been divorced at least once, when I was single many of my friends husbands or boyfriends would try to have an affair with me, and the list unfortunately goes on) it has really been a challenge for me fighting the thoughts in my own mind. Hormones have a lot to do with it too, and sometimes my hormones will be raging, causing me to imagine things that aren't true & to over react to things that are really not that big of a deal. It's hard for us women sometimes. Take the "real" things that attack us, couple it with things from our past which influence our behavior and add to that hormones, it truly is a wonder that we can get through it at all!
Yesterday was a combination of hormones, physical illness, past insecurities & lack of attentiveness from my husband. I was such a jumble of mixed emotions that I felt as if I was being torn in many different directions. What torment! Unfortunately I handled it all wrong at first, giving in to my flesh & responding in ways that did not honor God. The way I reacted showed that I did not fully trust God to take care of things. When my husband said things to me that provoked me, I was not still & quiet, waiting upon the Lord. I reacted right away, playing right into the hands of the enemy. It was unfortunate on my part, but what Satan intended for evil, God used for good. Last night, I grew. Even if only a little, I know that I grew.

In my quiet time that same morning, when I was confessing my faults to the Lord & asking him to search my heart, God had already given me an answer. When I was confessing the mistrust I had in my spirit for those around me, including my husband, the Holy Spirit said, "Michelle, you don't HAVE to trust your husband. The only one you have to trust is ME. I will take care of you." Scripture confirms this in several places. I will give a few.
Psalm 56:11 says, "In God have I put my trust: I will not be afraid what man can do unto me."
Jeremiah 17:5-10:

This is what the LORD says:
"Cursed is the one who trusts in man,
who depends on flesh for his strength
and whose heart turns away from the LORD.

He will be like a bush in the wastelands;
he will not see prosperity when it comes.
He will dwell in the parched places of the desert,
in a salt land where no one lives.

"But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD,
whose confidence is in him.

He will be like a tree planted by the water
that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
and never fails to bear fruit."

The heart is deceitful above all things
and beyond cure.
Who can understand it?

"I the LORD search the heart
and examine the mind,
to reward a man according to his conduct,
according to what his deeds deserve."

Many people will get insulted at the fact that I am saying man cannot be trusted, but God Himself said, "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure." It is not wrong for me to acknowledge that sometimes man cannot even trust Himself.

After my husband left in a flood of anger, I confided in my daughter the way I was feeling. She really understood where I was coming from. As I heard her confess her own shortcomings with trust & arguing the facts, I realized two things. 1) She truly DID understand 2)She was not submitting to God either. We had a nice talk about submission. My role had changed from councilee to councilor. I began to share with her the importance of submission. We discussed how hard it is, especially when you know the other person truly is wrong. During our conversation, one statement I made really struck a chord. I said, "The bigger person ALWAYS submits". Jesus Himself submitted, even unto death. He set that example for us. We cannot change the way people think or react, we can only change ourselves. We cannot control others, we must let God convict & correct them & only by turning them COMPLETELY over to God can we do that. If we hold onto them and the anger or pain they provoke in us, we prevent God from doing His work in their lives. Someone has to take the first step...someone has to let go & trust God. It is the one walking closest to Jesus that will do that first. The hope is that each person will walk closely with the Lord but until such time, one person needs to submit. Last night I chose to be that person. Admitting my wrong, and asking God's forgiveness, then apologizing for my part in the argument I immediately felt free & knew that I had given control of the situation back to God. Things did not change between my husband & I, he was still elusive & non attentive toward me, but I knew that I had turned him over to the only one who could change him from the inside out.

By submitting to God every time, we gain control of every situation because we relinquish our own need for control & give it the One who controls the universe. Victory comes when we surrender our lives to God's control.

God bless you as you submit to God!